for julienne

close your eyes. listen. please. dear julienne.

did you know this is my favorite beatles song of all? ask your mom.

punk kid, i hope and pray you are well. i could have done better. maybe you see now how i could have done worse.

to remind you of how you were loved before you left us, i share with you the dog we rescued on our way out of new orleans three days after katrina. that day i held your hand and we walked and i told you it was okay to cry, but pray. and you did. and we were saved.

then we found him. delivered by a helicopter. i did not want him. i was concerned with you and your mom and a dog was another responsibility i had little room for. not that my opinion or heartlessness mattered. you named him katrina, but he was a boy, so we called the dog “kat.” momma named him “kat t. dog.” t for “the.”

i see your smile.

i weep your tears.

the best days of his life were with us. because you wanted him.

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