friday’s post of cool stuff #30: brought to you by the unobtainable space woman from the planet honda

The internet is such a wealth of accidentalism. Yes, I just invented that word. Whilst surfing random links, a metaphor for the choices we make in life, I found this:

Seven years ago Honda introduced that bike, the Solo, a 50cc that smacks of an urban bobber for the teeny bopper. The most amazing thing about this is that if you Google “honda solo,” there is so little information that you’d think their press release from 2003 never happened. I’m not sure it did. Maybe you wanna research that instead of believing all I say, like I was Fox News or somethin’.

Regardless, Honda wanted the little machine to “deliver the pleasure of owning and riding a bike that serves as a fashion accessory in addition to providing convenient daily transportation.” Yep. It’s fashionable. Maybe it was cool in Japan and Portugal in 2003 but this bike is cool in America today.

Isn’t there a segment of bike riders that want efficient little bobber-style motorbikes? The radical customs by genius dudes like Shinya are for the few. Change the handlebars on the Solo and it’s pretty cool.

Why buy a girly scooter when thousands of university underclassmen – and women – would prefer to zip around campus on a Solo? Sell it for 900 bucks. Manufacture and assemble it in New Orleans. I’ll negotiate the deal between Honda and the city for a seat on the city council I’ll use to give Honda tax breaks if they pay for decent health health care for their employees and buy me a Mercedes. Trust me, it’s a deal.

WARNING: POLITICAL RANT

There will always be a procedural reason to vote against anything, no matter what our “representatives” are debating. Today’s case-in-point is that Democrats wanted to tax foreign corporations that operate in the U.S. so they could use the money to pay for health care for first responders to the 9.11 disaster. Republicans voted against it because they weren’t allowed to affix more amendments for pet projects, rather than doing the right thing for those who risked their lives to save others. Brave men and women died and have become sick performing their duty as Americans so politicians could try to send money from their bones and black lungs back to the corporations that bought their elections.

Republicans don’t want to improve the economy and they don’t want to help the working man. They want the middle class to be poorer because they want to be richer. Yeah, it sucked for them for a year or two lately, but they’re all back to researching da Vinci to develop an historical perspective about golden parachutes.

And don’t think the Democrats aren’t wussified douchebags. Try this instead.

bM Newsflash

TRENT REKER, BIKERMETRIC NEWS:

“John, we’re waiting for the coyote to send the signal that all the illegal immigrant aliens can start running for their lives toward the white van. The buildings in the background of the image below are owned by the landowner who, for ten minutes and for a price, has allowed the coyote access to borderline property to collect the fleeing masses of future farming and restaurant workers.”

“Alberto, after speaking with state officials, do they believe that reducing the pay scale of those who cannot afford higher education, which has doubled in price in the past 25 years while not doubling it’s standards, is an effect of illegal immigration, or the cause of it?”

Work until you die and dream of the unobtainable.

“John, you cut out for a moment, in this image we’re driving away with them, as they lay flat on the floor.

“Driving out of range of US Government border cameras, the coyote collects everybody’s American dollar bills (pesos no acceptos) and tell them it will cost every bill in their pocket to go to Tucson or even Phoenix, or, as he put it ‘Conseguir la cogida fuera de aquí!’ At that point, he turns to me with a pistol in his hand and I am asked to get out.

“John, are you there? Many of these poor souls don’t know it, but some are about to be executed or begin their lives as *** slaves. I’d been told that one lucky alien might become your favorite right wing radio personality’s housekeeper. If she’s a smart *** slave.”

“Thanks for your report, Alberto. Stay tuned, America. We’ll tell you about the incredible story that world domination can be had through biofuel, but the oil companies have purchased the favor of too many politicians with too many campaign donations to let biofuel save us from foreign oil and ecological disaster. Right after these messages…”

Thanks to the kind folks at Chabott for use of their desert photos for my satirical illegal immigration report.

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