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techTips! #1

All right guys, I’m slammed with work and the website redesign is taking a back seat. Still, I’m going to introduce something we’re going to do here periodically: bikerMetric techTips. Yes, two words. It’s a branding thing. Back on topic, tonight’s introductory tech post is for those who have to work in their kitchen sometimes and is called, How to Clean Carbs After the Family is Asleep:

If you are married, perhaps you should do this in the wee hours.

1. Take carb off the sickle.

sickle-free carburetor

2. Take the carb apart, jets out, mix and idle screws, everything. If the jets are gunked-up good (like a carb that’s dried up and sat for years), poke the holes out enough to make sure they are semi-clear. Try to do this without a cat present. Do not let the woman’s cat ]whack little parts off the table.

cat hide is great for summer riding gloves

Hard, crusty gunk inside.

fingernail clipper ad for esquire

3. Get some lemon juice. I got two small bottles and a larger bottle, which was just enough. Mixed it 70% juice and 30% water.

lemon juice cleans carbs?

4. Put the disassembled carb pieces in a big pot with the lemon juice.

i got band-aids on me fingers!

5. Pour in enough juice to cover carbs completely.

look at the stuff on the counter. is somebody making cookies after this?

6. Get the juice to boil, then simmer for 30 minutes. Stir occasionally, laughing like a witch.

coming soon: a ladle!

7. This smells really, really, really bad, like you’re boiling sweaty shoe insoles mixed with rust and rotten eggs. It is advisable to have a good vent fan over your stove. Do not walk away from this because apparently, for what ever reason, after it simmers a while, it starts to froth at light speed! Uh oh.

the dumbass ******* ******* who screwed me witch's brew

Have a spoon on hand to scoop off the froth. It doesn’t care when you turn down the heat, it’ll keep frothing like… like I don’t know what. Like a lot, that’s what.

giant spoons, aka ladles: the carburetor bubble bath necessity

8. Move pot to sink but don’t dump it out since there are many small parts inside. Place it in the sink, run lukewarm water into the pot, and as water displaces the dark dirty stuff you’ll be able to see the parts at the bottom better. Pull out the parts and blast carb cleaner through all the ports to make sure there’s no muck left in them. Then dry them off. I don’t have pictures of step 8 because I was busy with both hands.

9. Marvel at the insanely clean carb parts. Rub them a bit with paper towels and grey will come off onto the towel, particularly in the slide bores and slides. Get a new paper towel and keep cleaning. Do this until the newest towel stays clean.

Do not over-tighten the jet as it may break and ruin the whole marveling-at-clean-carbs mood. Doh! At least I had extra Amals to snag a jet from.

he marveled until he thought he was a superhero

10. Reassemble the carbs and look in the mirror. See how awesome you are with your new uberclean carbs.

mister cleans says **** YEAH!

It totally beats spraying and scrubbing and poking and having scuff marks from scrubbing, or paying a hundred bucks for ultrasound cleaning.

The round cork gaskets were stuck hard as a rock on the carb where line nipples go. I left it there to boil and when I was done it lifted clean off and poofed up, all bendable again. I wished I didn’t razor the float gaskets off and had left them on. That may have fixed them right up.

the fruits of labor

11. One of the carbs was fairly nasty and both had dried-up gunk in them. The lemon juice boil took off all this stuff, no brushing or anything. Everything came out clean.

12. Now clean the kitchen and have air freshener on hand. I thought the smell was gone but I guess I got used to the stench. My girl comes in and makes a face like she’s gonna puke and asks, “what’s that smell?”

Besides that, this technique would be good on about any aluminum part.

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