the bikerMetric 300

it was bound to happen. sooner or later bikerMetric was going to get 300 suckers to click the follow button. here are the latest souls i will dissolute into banker-hurting, beer-swilling, metric motorbike-riding braggarts of our planet’s impending doom.

i’ve always thought having 300 followers of a blog meant it was a huge success. now those blogs have a thousand followers and i’m simply glad i haven’t killed myself with alcohol poisoning.

therefore, a celebratory set of cupcakes shall be made into a motorcycle!

i’m unsure what the deal is with the rear wheel spoke all up in the fender but hey, it’s a biker cupcake celebration. i bet a lot a beer was swallowed during the spreading of the frosting.

is it me or should i delete that last sentence?

let us start with the usual no pic, no info dude, luie. he follows four blogs including bM. welcome to the internet, luie. how may we be of service?

that photo i took near my home seemed random, didn’t it? well, it wasn’t. we’re working on a theme here. watch….

Troy is a student pastor at the immanuel baptist church outside lexington, kentucky. i rolled through that town in july. what he is doing here, i have no idea. maybe he prays for my soul as he skims past the “hurt bankers,” bobbies and bondage pix to be distracted by sweet metric bobbers, choppers, cafes and, what other kind is there again? oh, yeah…. trackers. lord, i am sick of freaking trackers! check out his blog if you’re in need of some thoughts on why jesus hasn’t yet arrived with his attorneys yet.

the next noob is named Mr.Soul, interestingly enough. he’s from taiwan and likes a clean kitchen.

because i’m sick of trackers, today i’m posting custom motorized bicycles like this:

have i recently written how i’m sick of trackers and want to post something you haven’t seen repeated a thousand times already?

Charlie is an interesting dude. one of his his blogs, transverse alchemy, is “dedicated to those who suckle at the teats of chaos.” his other blog, flesh & relics, consists of lots of bikes and boobies. i found this image of the ladybirds, “the worlds first and only all-girl topless band,” on ta.

i find John B. to be a bit of a conundrum. he follows the sometimes out of control biker poetry here but also follows an “advice and fashion blog” that is written by a woman (or a tranny) for women (or really skinny trannys). he also follows a bakery blog. it’s like he got stoned one night and one thing led to another until he woke up wearing a dress with frosting smeared all over his face and a dis-assembled motorcycle in his living room. well then…. um…. good to have you around, john, if that is your real name.

Antolín López loves salsa. the dance or the condiment? i don’t know.

now for another interesting segue; from salsa to salmon. The Salmon hit up bikerMetric from the philippines. i’ve had salsa on salmon, having lived in texas and arizona, and it was bound to happen in a fancy taco getting in my mouth some day. should i delete that last sentence, too? whatever. the salmon man’s got a biker blog he calls “full throttle cholesterol.” it is mostly biker stuff, but it seems that the salmon can wrangle up a tasty philly cheesesteak when he wants:

what’s up, G? i’m guessing you found us on up yours! george is cool. so is this:

i’m willing to bet you’re all going to see and read a lot more about this bike.

Andrea is an italian cat with a 1981 yamaha xt500 basket case he’s going to do something with someday. i bet it will be a tracker. hope you find inspiration here, man, and get that bike done soon. check out andrea’s blogs at xt500yamaha and nopossum.

you can always tell a euro dude by the swimming trunks.

ratroddoug is from asheville, north carolina. i wonder if he knows hugh? well, he should. thanks for the visits, doug.

don’t know much about Paul except this is the only blog he follows and he may be italian.

it’s about time the villain showed up. i was beginning to think i’d never get my own arch-nemesis. now to put on my tights and cape and save my neighborhood from crack dealers with handguns. i’ll be looking out for a red norton, man, so don’t think i’ll miss your socal *** when you come scootin’ by my nola crib thinkin’ yer all that.

and the 300th member of our doomed ship of metric motorbike mayhem is CHUNGOS. they seem like three crazy spanish f***ers. excellent. they also like skulls. thanks for the follow, mofos!

there. the theme was things that start with the letter b. bicycles. boobies. beer. boots. butts. beef.

in the mirror of that the world views us, the b becomes a d. donuts. dudes. drug dealers. damnation. death.

i prefer b. b for bondage.